Is it here or there?

Lord,

What is your direction for our future?

Lord I thought going was your plan but somehow I am still here.

Should I go, what is your plan for me and him?

What's most important to me is my future with him. Most important is that we have each other and love is the strongest bond holding together forever.

But Lord, I need your confirmation, I need you to tell me which path we should take.

Is it here or there?

I know the Lord is watching over me

He knows my worries.

I try to tell him but sometimes I fall asleep.

I want to tell him but sometimes my mind would be thinking of so many other things.

Sometimes I have not even asked.

But he knows the worries of my heart.

And when he takes it away before even I can solve it, I am amazed.

I am thankful and I feel so blessed.

I am filled with gratitude.

I know the Lord is watching over me.

Lord I pray...

Lord there have been many things that I want and I prayed.

Lord you have answered all my prayers. I know Lord that you will and I am thankful Lord that you love me.

I know I am not the best and I don't deserve your love. I pray that I will be better and I pray that God you forgive me always.

Lord I feel time is running short and I really need your confirmation.

I know no matter what things will work out and as long I have you with me, I know I can go thru anything.

But Lord I ask you to show me, direct me and give me confirmation. I really do want the security.

Lord I ask that you show me the way and guide me.

My dad and Christ

God works in miraculous way.

I am in a Buddhist family. I am the only one who converted despite objections.

However, I can't enroll my family. I want them to butt out of my life so it is difficult now to try to get them back into my life. I only pray to God for open doors and hopefully through other people, my family will come to Christ.

My brother, I have strong faith that he will come to Christ. Infact, he already has through his wife but he has drifted off. I know one day he will come back again. It is a matter of time and I know God continuously works on him.

My father, He is a true testament of God's ways. My dad is not a believer of any faith. He will do no evil but he says he believes in himself. When I moved them to KL, I was worried whether he will get used to it. He is not a social guy and prefers to stay home.

But God is good. He placed a godly man in my dad's life. Uncle Leong owns a mechanic shop near our house. One day, my dad and I went to his shop. I chatted with him and realized he is a godly man. He even invited my dad to church. I encouraged my dad to be friends with Uncle Leong. Not thing much happened for a few months then one day I found out that Uncle Leong has been taking my dad out for food with some elderly guy friends. It was a perfect placement. My dad goes to church every Sunday with Uncle Leong now.

Uncle Leong is encouraging my dad to accept Christ and do the water baptism. This is my dad's decision and he has to decide. I thank God for his journey and I can only pray that he does.

As for my mom, she is a hard one to handle. I have tried to place a friend's mom in her life but till now no avail. There will be on opportunity. God will work and place the right people together. I can only pray for her and hopefully be of a good example.

Praise God for even the smallest things

Isn’t it wonderful when you wish for something and it comes true? Even the smallest thing, because it would feel like a miracle when your wish is fulfilled. It is like someone up above heard what you wanted and fulfilled it just for you.

I have been meaning to get a mug for my office morning coffee/milo. That is because the office paper cups are too small and flimsy. So I was thinking that I should bring a mug or buy a mug to bring to office. The next day I got into the office and almost like a miracle, there was a new mug sitting on the table. Wow! Amazing! It was given to me for being part of the training team the company. It may be a small gift but the miracle behind it is when you wish for something no matter how small, God hears and he knows and he fulfills, Praise the Lord.

Matthew 7 : 7,8
Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.
For every who asks, receives, he who seeks, finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

What happens when your dreams become a nightmare?

WOW! It was such a great service last Sunday.

I wish I could describe every word that was said but when you meet a pastor who is a great speaker and what more speak the word of God, it is usually a profound message.

So the title of his message was what happens when your dreams become a nightmare?

Has it ever happened to any of you? I am sure it has.

But what do we do at those times?

The topic related Olympics Shooter Matthew Emmons and the story of Joseph in Genesis.

Wanna know how it all relates? Stay tuned. I will refine my thots and write more soon.

I guess sexual fantasies and masturbation is ok...

Thanks all for your comments. Actually I feel a lot better. I decided to google a bit for some answers especially on Christians and masturbation.

Actually I was surprised to find that masturbation is not a sin in the bible. But LUST is. And because masturbation is highly associated with lust, thus it can potentially be a sin. Basically it is difficult to isolate the two because it is usually due to lust that people masturbate.

Anyway, so I guess masturbation is alright. However, if too much and it becomes a sexual addiction or you are masturbation and thinking of someone eg lusting over him or her, then it is wrong.

So it is a very thin line.

I guess if you are married and you are thinking of your spouse. It is probably ok. But the same applies, if it becomes a sexual addiction or lust, then it is a sin. In any case, if you are married you are free to have sex, you should not be masturbating too much right??!! :)

Btw....some level of masturbation apparently is good for married couples...Read this.

Is masturbation wrong?

Ok I know that it is wrong.

But is it wrong if you are married and it is with your husband. You are married, you can have sex but is masturbation still wrong?

If you are apart......is phone sex wrong between husband and wife? Are sexual fantasies about your spouse also wrong? I am still torn between whether it is wrong or right. It somehow feels like it is not so right but then rationally, since it is your spouse, it should be technically right, isn't it?

I hope someone out there can provide some perspective, best with some actual verse from bible....

Healing Encounter - what I saw!

I have been to healing rallies before but usually I am sitting at the back and could not really experience what is really going on in the front.



This time....I was sitting in the front rows and got a clear picture of God's miracles.. It was almost seem unbelievable but it is definite God's power and God's presence.

This is Bishop Robert Kayanja. Picture below. Read his profile here.

He leads the biggest congregration in Uganda and have travelled the world to healing rallies. Anyway, he was in Malaysia and I was there to see his miracles. He has healed many, the blind, the crippled, the hearing impaired, the ones with ones diseases....etc.

But the first thing that striked me is that he repeated said throughout the service that it was not him, it is God who is doing the healing. He reminded the congregration that it is not him, he is not the healer, God is doing the healing.

He started by praying and even with that it was so powerful, many fell, many were touched and it was all happening infront of me. People were falling down one by one.

Infact one of the ushers who looked like he suddenly became demon possessed needed immediate healing and Bishop Robert prayed for him.

And then the miracles of healing started. He started to pray for healing of diseases. One lady who came up was stopped by him. OMG! I have heard of her. She has been suffering with back pain that keeps her bedridden sometimes for days, she walks with a stick and a support for her back. She has been prayed by my friend many a times and even though she accepted Jesus but she often falls back to her Indian gods and idols. Somehow God has chosen her, it was her time, Bishop Robert chose her from the crowd, told her that she must believe and that her family is will be lead to Christ by her too. He then asked her if she wants to believe in Jesus and if she believes, she said yes. She then started walking without her stick and even removed the brace on her back. Amazing! It was really amazing.

And then Bishop and the congregration continued to pray for healing, and people started going up as they got healed. It was amazing, a little boy who was blind in one eye could see again. A deaf old man - he was wearing hearing aid, went up and said he can hear now without his hearing aid and a girl in wheelchair - she looks like she is mentally challenged, she started walking with the help of others. She just said, she felt like walking!!

These were some of the miracle I saw with my own eyes! It was truly amazing.

What about me? I had a headache when I went for the rally, it was better during the service but it became worst when I went home. Sigh.

Click here

Christians - Can we have sexual fantasies?

I know that we are not supposed to have sexual fantasies.

I know that applies to single people. I have been wondering, if one is married and is having fantasies about the husband or wife (spouse) , is that still considered a sin?

Can anyone give me some perspective on this question?

What is God trying to tell me?

I hope that I am listening to God.

I thot I heard him and I made the decision only to have the decision reversed almost as I communicated it.

I don't know if it is for the better but I must believe that it is.

I need some security for the future. I think that is most important. No matter what happens, what I need to take good care of is the relationship with my husband.

We are going to be apart again and we are going into this uncertainty again, uncertainty on where our future lies.

But what's most important is that we stay strong together even if we are apart.

And that is my prayer to God. Let me walk the path of righteousness and let us walk in HIS grace.

A Healing Encounter

Have you been to a healing encounter?

Do you believe in what you see in a healing encounter?

Do you personally know anyone who has been healed in a healing encounter?

He will give you the desires of your Heart.

Verse of the day.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Ps 37:4

I was this verse in a friend's facebook.

It is really a beautiful and reassuring verse.

What is the desire of you heart? Does God know?

Putting your trust in God

Making a big decision in your life is never easy.

We constantly fear if we are making the right decision.

What if the decision is wrong? What if we regret later?

How do we know that what we decide now is the right path that we need to take for the future?

I guess we will never really know.

I pray that I am making a Godly decision, a decision that God wants me to make.

I pray for his blessings to lead me to the right path.

I pray for his grace that no matter what I do, I will be shield by his armour.

I pray for my faith to be strengthened, that I will look to him no what happens.

I pray for his love, for me to always remember that he loves me and no matter what, he is there for me.

How do we know that we are following God's direction?

How do we know that we are following God's direction?

I always hear from my Christian friends that we must follow God's direction. We must pray and ask for God's confirmation. We must do what God wants us to do.

I often wonder how do we really know if we are doing what God wants us to do, am I really on the right direction. How do I know?

I fear that I am not doing what God wants me to do.

Is it that if I will feel at peace with my decision, that means that I am following what God wants me to do?

How do I really know?

I often wonder, I still have fear and sometimes I am doubtful but I have faith that no matter what happens, as long as I have God with me, I am safe.

Let me know if any of you know, how we know if you have God's confirmation on your decisions.

Baptism of the Holy Spirit

My good friend text me the other day and told me that she was looking thru the palm diary and realised that I received baptism of the Holy Spirit on 1st Sept four years ago.

I did not even keep track and I am glad that she did.

I remember the day that I was baptized with the holy spirit or in other word receive the gift of speaking in tongues. I was in a cell meeting and my leaders would be praying for the baptism of the holy spirits for those who want to be baptised.

If you ask me whether I was skeptical, I would tell you yes. I was also concerned that God may not give me this gift or fdiscover I was not worthy enough. But I believed and I prayed along as my cell members prayed over me.

It was quite amazing that suddenly, beyond my control I felt that there were just words coming out from my mouth. It was so surprising to me that in a quick instant, I kinda stopped and did not let it flow. But I knew then that God has worked and I have received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit ever since.

What about you? How was your experience?

To learn more about Baptism of the Holy Spirit, click here and here.

Tomorrow I am flying

Tomorrow, I am flying home. It will be decision time again.
The decision is probably made. I just am afraid to admit and say it.
I am still looking for a back door. I am still awaiting confirmation.

Lord, I need your confirmation. I need your approval, your consent that my decision is right.
I need to know that I will be ok. That I am making the right decision.

I probably already know. But I am afraid to take the step.
I need you Lord to guide me each step of the way.

Lord I pray that this trip will be fruitful. I pray Lord for your grace upon each step that I take.

I am weak but HE IS STRONG

These last few days have been ups and downs. I know God is preparing me for something. I don't know what it is but I know that I have to have faith.

HE seemed to have closed the door. I pray and pray and asked HIM to guide me, lead me, open the door for me. I felt sad, I felt defeated, I needed his assurance.

woOut of nowhere, HE sent to angels to assure me. People I hardly know, giving words of encouragement at times when I needed it. My spirits were lifted. I knew that God has a plan for me, I just need to have faith.

He opened the door. I was filled with hope and appreciation. I really wanted it. I prayed hard. I asked GOD to guide me, lead me and give me that opportunity. I really wanted it.

But HE closed the door. I was defeated yet again. What is your plan, My Lord? I know in my heart YOU has a plan and I know it will be a good plan.

It is just that I am weak now, I feel sad, I feel rejected, I feel defeated and I feel fear. Fear for the future, fear to take the step, fear for the change, fear for what God has in-store for me.

I am weak. But I know HE IS STRONG. I know that even now in my weakest moment, HE is with me and HE is guiding me. HE has a plan for me and it is a good plan.

I need to have faith in HIM.

God has a plan for me

I just need to put my faith in HIM!

I have been worried these few days. I really needed him to help me, guide me and I know if it is his will, I will accept for I know his plan would be a good plan for me. Nevertheless I was worried and even as I drove out in the rain to get the kit, I was nervous and apprehensive.

I prayed to God before I went out, asking for his WILL to be done. I will follow him.

But God has a plan for me and to my relief, he agrees that I am not ready. I am assured. He has answered. Now I just need to focus on getting my job started.

God, I thank you for your grace and love for me. I thank you for the mighty plan you have for me. I believe everything you laid out for me would be good. Help me and guide me to see them clearly.

My Weak Walk

I have not been blogging on this blog since April. I guess that is how weak my walk with God has been these few months.

God is with me always, I guess I just have not served him. I sought after HIM when I am in need. I believe He is watching out for me always. I am thankful, give praise when I pray but mostly I am asking God for forgiveness. Forgiveness for all things I have done (but done wrongly) and forgiveness for things I have not done (but should be doing).

But God is Good, and God is ever ready to lift my spirits and guide me. He may not answer the question directly but he will answer in his own time. Meanwhile, I just have to be faithful.

I seldom read the bible but I do read whenever I can and hopefully I don't fall asleep. Morever, I often wonder, what it meants when the words jump out at you.

In a rare occasion yesterday, the words did jump out at me and I am assured. God has answered and it restores and strengthens me.

Acts 14:8-10
8 In Lystra there sat a man crippled in his feet, who was lame from birth and had never walked. 9 He listened to Paul as he was speaking. Paul looked directly at him, saw that he had faith to be healed 10 and called out, "Stand up on your feet!" At that, the man jumped up and began to walk.

What God told me through this scripture - A man who has been lame from birth and yet had enough faith that God healed him. And now me...who is able and have so much more, how can my faith be so low? I must have faith that God has prepared something good for me and I must have faith that I will receive and God will answer my prayers.

Thank you Lord. I am glad and I will have faith. Continue to guide me!

American Idol - Shouts to the Lord AGAIN!!!

It is amazing! God's grace pouring upon the TV waves touching even more lives. And this time around they sang with the word MY JESUS, proving again that God is Great!
I hope this song have touched everyone who heard it. Thanks to the producers of American Idol.

American Idol - Shout To The Lord!

Hey, I just realised that I need to blog this and give all praises to Jesus.
It was so amazing to hear this song at the end of American Idol. And I did not realise the impact of it until this morning.

Firstly, it impacted me for sure. I know this song. I song it in church back home all the time. I googled the song immediately and realised it is from Hill Song Australia. Wow! And I was wondering if it was an old American worship song. But no this is a Darlene Zschesh's song for Hill song. Wow! amazing!
What it made me do...I googled the song immediately, made me remember God and his greatness, made me remember my fav worship song which I immediately blog in the entry before.

Then i sent a text message to my friend Tiffany in Malaysia for her to watch the show (delayed telecast in Msia).

This morning, I am on messenger with her, I am googling about this and I realized that it would have impacted so so many people all over the world. They may have omitted MY JESUS from the lyrics but there is no way that you can take JESUS out from that song. It is so beautiful. Shout to the Lord.

Please realise that this is not only going to touch Christians but all people of all religions all over the world.

Kudos to the producers of Idols and all Praises to God.

It's all About you Jesus

Suddenly this song came back to me. This is really a beautiful song. I remember this song was with me every step of the way when I was travelling in Europe especially in London all by myself. It is such song that humbles me.